This pain has another source, and that is the fear of the unknown. What does it mean to be LGBT? Will my kid stop keeping the commandments? Will they have a family? Can we 'come out' of this? And many more questions. We hope that the site will help you and give you the tools to act in the best way for the child and for you, the parents.

First, when your child comes out of the closet, they’re still the same child you raised. Furthermore, they are not LGBT because of your fault, and you can read about this in the research section of the site, you have no reason or ability to change them. This is the same kind and beloved child who gives you, the parents, a deeper glimpse into their inner world. Coming out of the closet is not a defiance of the parents but an invitation to dialogue and discourse, at times when your child needs you most.

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Second, it should be emphasized that your child did not become LGBT upon coming out. Some parents are afraid of putting things on the table, but it should be remembered that your child was LGBT even before coming out, and revealing the matter to you, the parents, is a welcome thing that will allow you to keep an eye on your child and better understand his or her situation. Children in the closet, and even adults, are more prone than others to self-harm, sexual abuse, and harassment by others. Your child's openness is an opportunity to take back the wheel and help them navigate the new world they’re entering safely and not alone. Denying your child or trying to 'take them out of it' causes the parents to distance themselves. In this situation, a kind of double life often develops in which your child transmits one thing to the parents, but continues to lead a different lifestyle on their own. Only constant dialogue with unconditional love can leverage coming out into a deeper and more secure connection between parents and their children.

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 -  And finally, one more word. Sometimes, coming out of the closet for a child is coming into the closet for the parents. They become the child's secret keeper and thus experience something similar to the process that the child went through. Just as the child feels the need to come out of the closet, or talk to someone, so too do the parents often need support. To that end, there is an organization called Tehilah, which accompanies families and parents of LGBT children. Here is a link to the website and support center that operates 24/7. In addition to them, you can find a link to purchase the booklet 'Parents First and foremost', published by the gay religious community. The booklet contains comprehensive and relevant information that can help parents.

You may need therapy. If so, look for an inclusive therapist who allows your child to search for themself without directing or trying to control where it will lead. A therapist who tries to change his sexual attraction does not act according to ethical rules and may harm your child.

If you still want to contact a conversion therapist, ask them to talk to one of the men who has undergone therapy with them and changed. Insist that he be open and honest. If he is married, ask to speak to his wife. Do some minimal research, as you would before any alternative treatment you would send your child to.
Make sure your child expresses at least minimal interest in such a process. If not, consider that the potential for harm may be immeasurably greater than if they had a specific desire.

Remember. Your child is in a vulnerable position. They are probably not capable of conducting such research or "market research" with open and responsible eyes.
Take a deep breath and just love them. As always.

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