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Matthew Shurka

Matthew Sorka's story

Matthew grew up in New York in a traditional Jewish family. In his youth he realized that he was attracted to men and was ready to do anything to fit into society.

As a high schooler, he was beaten by two bully boys from his class.

Feeling that his masculinity was weak, Matthew came out of the closet to his father. His father referred him to conversion therapy out of concern about what it would mean for Matthew to be openly gay.

The therapy, which lasted about 3 years, included disconnection and estrangement from his family members. During the therapy, he says, he was ordered to spend time with boys in order to encourage a "healthy" relationship between men.

He says: "Throughout high school I experienced enormous anxiety and even considered suicide."

When he was 21 years old, he left treatment out of desperation and decided to live his life as a gay man, accompanied by the support of his mother.

Matthew further describes the closing of the circle in his relationship with his father.

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For more testimony:

Yochai Greenfeld

"I was given homework to spit in the street, swear on the road or tell myself I'm a man dozens of times a day in order to develop a more masculine and tough self-image. We worked on cultivating my romantic thoughts towards girls from my high school and Bnei Akiva, and to have sexual fantasies about them. In practice, my sexual attraction did not change but I made it look like I was progressing."

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Elimor Mor Yosef

"He asked me to watch a pornographic film, with only women in it, and he wanted to know if it changed anything, if it strengthened my masculinity"

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Shani Garbeli

"I had exercises to do. I had to put a rubber band on my hand and every time I thought about girls I would pull to hurt myself. At a certain point it didn't hurt anymore. I would punish myself - if I thought about someone I would starve myself."

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